Thought I would choose a happy quote today, my eyes are still very sick and I feel pretty crook but I am trying to be positive. I’m fed up with being miserable so instead of being miserable and in pain, I’m going to be happy and cheerful and in pain!
Wonder if I can pull it off.
Have a wonderful day all, there really are lots of beautiful reasons to be happy ☺
4 days after the Avastin injection my eye is still looking pretty crook, got a lovely shiner to match the red eye. Saw the eye doctor yesterday for a check up on my crazy looking eye. Aparantly a subconjunctival hemorrhage is quite common after an Avastin injection, but the doctor was very impressed with mine, usually it’s a minor problem but mine is the biggest bruise she has seen in a long time. As well as the bloodshot eye I have a proper black eye underneath too. Unfortunately it can take around a month for it to clear up so I am going to look like I have been in a pub brawl for a while longer.
I need to get over my shyness with it, I have been hiding out in my office at work and avoiding people because it looks so horrible but if I’m going to be living with it for a while I need to get out there with my head held high and not worry about it. Perhaps I should make up a cool story about how I got it instead of a boring old injection!
I am hoping the I will be able to get my lens in that eye in the next few days, I was hoping for today but it is just too sore still. It has been really difficult at work wearing just one lens. I am managing on the computer OK as I have the font really big but I am finding reading paperwork really challenging.
The rhumatologist has increased my methotrexate to 15mg with a view to raising it to 20mg in about 4 weeks if my bloods look good. Hopefully will finally be able to get off of the prednisone.
I just want to get rid of the scleritis and get relatively normal eyes back (as normal as a keratoconic eye can be). This last 7 months has been a massive roller coaster for my eyes.
Have a good weekend all.
There’s that saying that there is always someone worse off than you. Very true, but that thought really doesn’t make me feel any better when I am having a really crap day. When I am feeling good it’s easy to have sympathy for orphans, neglected animals or disabled people, but today all I care about is me.
Why me? I’m thinking, I must have been a really hideous person in a previous life to be saddled with all of this crap.
My eye hurts, I can’t wear my contact lens so can only see out of one eye, I have a crazy headache and I really don’t want to be at work.
What can I do to soothe myself and feel a little better?
I’ll tell you what …. Prescription pain drugs. Forget about the meditation, mindfulness and all that other self-help stuff, today I need the hard stuff. I need to pop a pill and forget about it for a few hours. I just want to feel normal, just for a bit, is that too much to ask?
That feeling of total and utter relief when I take a painkiller is amazing; all of the stress and pain just washes out of me. Now I can get on with my work and lead a normal life. Well kinda normal, I’m avoiding everyone in the office and walking around with my head down because I don’t want them to see my crazy eye, but apart from that it’s pretty normal.
I have conquered that roller coaster today, done the scary loop the loop and come out the other side. Life is good!
p.s. pain meds should be taken as per your doctors instruction, be very careful that you follow those instructions properly.
A couple of days ago I was taking my scleral lens out and scraped it across my cornea by mistake – Man it hurt!
I have got very delicate corneas due to the keratoconus which has made them thin and liable to easy damage. As you can see here there is some bleeding under the cornea at the point where I scraped it. My eye is still a little bit red from my scleritis flare up too so right now my left eye is not very comfortable.
Bleeding in the cornea like this is called Hyphema and it is a collection of blood in the anterior chamber between the cornea and the iris. Already it has started to be absorbed so it wasn’t too bad an abrasion, although I have grazed my cornea before and never had it bleed so I must have hit it pretty hard.
I am seeing my eye doctor tomorrow and have a couple of things to discuss that are a real problem for me ….
Since I got scleritis my eyes have become ultra sensitive, I can hardly bear to wear my lenses, I am in pain all day every day unless I take painkillers which just take the edge off of it.. I am hoping that he has some suggestions regarding this sensitivity. This is a really big deal as I have to wear my lenses to have any type of quality of life as I cannot get any vision in glasses. Without my lenses I can’t drive, work, read, watch TV, go shopping, in fact I can’t do anything.
The photophobia is a killer, I have to wear two pairs of sunglasses to go outside and even then my eyes are so light sensitive I can hardly stand it. In the bright Aussie sunshine this too is a big deal. Driving to work in the bright morning light is horrendous. By the time I get to work I am really stressed and my eyes are killing me.
As you can see I still have a way to go until my eyes are fixed. Well they will never really be fixed but I hope that we can make them better than they are now.
I am longing for the day when they can perform full eye transplants. It would be so great to get rid of my diseased ones and get a new pair. With technology the way it is, that’s got to be close don’t you think? I can cope with having the keratoconus, it is the scleritis that has really hit me hard so roll on the day I get those new eyes!