Bipolar Bear Is Around Today



I’m feeling a little bipolar today, that means my mood could go either way.  At the moment I’m sitting on the fence, thinking.

Thinking is always my downfall, I should just let things run their course and go with it, but no I have to be thinking all the time.  It is quite exhausting as I can’t shut my mind off and relax.

So what am I thinking about?

Thinking about my daughter a lot.  I spoke to her this morning (she is in the UK going to college).  She is 18 in a few months, still my baby but she sounded so mature and grown up.  A far cry from the wild and angry teenager we waved off at the airport last June.  Wow she has been gone a year already, and that year has obviously been good for her personal growth.  I’m happy that she is happy.

Thinking about the future of my eyes.  Will they improve any or just get worse?  They don’t seem to be getting any better which is really worrying.  My night vision has deteriorated so how long until my day vision goes too?  I’m really worried about that.  Sure the pain is horrible but it’s my eye sight that I am really worried about.

Thinking about my job.  Nobody’s job is secure in this current climate, what if I lose my job?  Who on earth would give me a job with my eye problems.  No one, that’s who.  That’s worrying me a bit too.

I feel like everything is out of my control and I don’t like it.  It feels scary because I don’t know the outcome of my worries.  All I can do is wait and see what happens.  I need to take a chill pill and settle down!  Maybe get in to a new book at some point today (lunchtime?) to take my mind off it.

Lets just wait and see what happens and deal with it then aye.


2 responses »

  1. I’m thinking of you today, my Irish Nana used to say to us ”If worrying about it will fix it, go ahead and worry, if it won’t then don’t” I know this might sound like a mealy mouthed platitude, but it works for me. I wish you light, and I am sending you mine….x Marie

    Liked by 1 person

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