Ouch! Needles In The Eye

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In an attempt to get my scleritis under control I had more needles in the eye yesterday – not pleasant!

This time I had a short acting steroid and a longer acting steroid so that it can start working straight away and continue working over the next few months.

Even though the doctor puts numbing drops in the eye it is still quite a traumatic experience.  The worst thing is you can see the needle coming towards you which is a horrible feeling and then sometimes it still hurts putting the injection in.  She did mix some anaesthetic in with the steroid so my whole eye area went numb pretty soon after the injections which helped.  The whole eye area underneath swelled up so I looked like I had been punched in the eye.

I am hoping that these latest injections do the trick; I am so over the pain.  I am also over people asking me what’s wrong with my eyes; they look a mess much of the time and it must make people curious.  I hope they don’t think that I have something contagious!

I get worried that the scleritis will affect my keratoconus and make it worse in that the constant swelling will affect the cornea.  I did have a very hazy cornea a couple of month’s back which took a month or so to resolve.  It can’t be good for an already compromised cornea to have trauma like severe swelling.  wondering if it could lead to hydrops?  The doctor did say that due to the blood vessels in the eye being so engorged with blood they are starting to go into the cornea which will mean a corneal graft at some point unless we get it under control.

The future of my eyes concern me a lot, my vision is already pretty bad and the way things are going it will likely get worse.  The doctor did try to reassure me that there were still plenty of drugs to try but I’m not so convinced, this has been going on for nearly 8 months now and we are no closer to solving the puzzle of why I keep getting scleritis flare ups.  There is obviously something going on in my body and they need to figure it out before I totally lose the plot.

My quality of life is suffering, it affects everything I do, and it’s depressing the hell out of me.  Sometimes I want to rip my eyes out of my head and think I would be better off blind than dealing with the constant pain and misery, but of course I don’t really mean that it would be awful, it’s just the depression talking.  Thank goodness for pain killers they have been my saviour.

Am seeing my wonderful GP tomorrow for a catch up, she always makes me feel better about things, as does my psychologist who I am seeing next week so hopefully very soon I will be a bit more cheerful!  I’m fed up myself of being miserable all of the time so fingers crossed I will be much happier very soon.

Have a good day all.

 

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