I’m battling a serious eye condition at the moment which is related to an autoimmune illness. The condition is serious enough to be sight threatening so I have to take it seriously. I am seeing my eye doctor and rheumatologist regularly which means taking time out from work.
My boss and colleague that I deal with on a daily basis are both really lovely and understand that I am having health problems but every time I have to leave early or come in late I feel so guilty for taking more time off. Even though it’s only a couple of hours at a time I still feel really bad.
I come into work at 7.10am every morning so pretty much do an hour a day extra to make up the time I take out for my medical appointments. My next appointment is in 3 weeks so by then I will have accumulated around 13 hours ….. Way more than the time I will be taking off. When I am taking more than a couple of hours off I take the time from my sick leave allowance, yet I still feel bad about my appointments.
I think I feel bad because nobody else in the building sees the extra hours I do but they do see that I am taking time out during the day. In the current climate I worry that I will be seen as a liability and therefore dispensable.
I work on the basis of give and take, if I need to work extra hours I am more than happy to do that, and if my boss says one day at 4.15, go home early its quiet then I am happy to do that too. Our department works on trust and respect and we actually like each other (I hope!).
So why do I still feel guilty? I don’t know! It’s something I need to work on because I am entitled to time off sick and I have to make my health my priority, I only have one body and I need to look after it.
Does anyone else have these feelings of guilt for taking time off? It is really doing my head in.